Q MAGAZINE September / October 2001

This was the first time that Basement Jaxx have taken their full show to North America. Q Magazine asked them to keep a tour diary for publication. This is the original transcript (written mostly by Felix). As well as Simon and Felix, the cast list is as follows;
Sharlene – brand new vocalist, taking the reins for “Red Alert” and “Romeo”, amongst others. Big voice, big heart.
Mandy – pint size MC, Camberwell Rude Girl, the voice of “Get Me Off”
Cassie – aka “The Mummy”, the girl who put the “Bingabing” in “Bingo Bango”, currently helping “Bongaloids tek over de world”
DeDe – our very own beautiful Brazilian, often to be seen befeathered and bouncing across our stage
Jorge – dreadlocked percussionist, one for the ladeez; also responsible for Capoiera capers on stage

Day 1 – 29th September – Denver – The Gothic Theater – Mountain Time

Very slow Joe’s in the street. World Trade Centre. Mad greasy cowboy jumped in front of the car on way back to hotel after soundcheck.
Some twat forgot the leads for our beautiful exciting (visuals) screens (so maybe not the most visual show tonight….)
Everyone a bit jet-lagged. Sharlene has her first laughing fit. Jorge get’s his first digits.
Lawrence (from Astralwerks – US Record Company) couldn’t make the gig due to dizziness and altitude sickness.
Gig – Denver woz lovin it, lovin it. Went to a bar after the club playing dodgy trance – until they played “Bongaloid””. Then some empty club – good little dance. Heard some cool music care of 107FM and a cool new Timbaland track – Bussy something…….(Busta Sparxxx).
Hotel, spliff, Red Bull. All pretty happy, hammered, on the verge of hallucination.

Day 2 – 30th September – Denver to San Diego – United Airlines flight 1523

Off at 8am to 3 hours of queing, being frisked and recovering in Denver Airport – caught a bit of American Football on TV; much singing of anthems, hand on heart, verge of tears, fighting people as one kind of business. We fly to San Diego.

Cassie’s Thought for the Day: “Eat food, Eat food, sleep. Don’t want to fly anymore”

Mandy’s Thought for the Day. “Where’s My Bed At ?”

San Diego is sunny & hot. Late afternoon chill at the hotel. Record company take the whole posse for a Thai meal and then off to the “Rock ‘n Bowl” (bowling alley) with some local bands (Limp Bizkit lookalike nerdy guys trying to be hard). John (our Al Pacino lookalike lighting technician from Brooklyn) is victorious. Lawrence is generally hilarious and gets a warning from Security after having a bad fall in the middle of one of the alleys. Mandy sadly has to drop out cos of nail extensions. Dede masters bowling ballet. Jorge missed the bowling – emotional exhaustion after flirting with “a lady” all afternoon only to disciover she was 15 (her bag packed with condoms apparently………)

Day 3 – 1st October – San Diego – 4th & B – Pacific Time

We leave our paradise hotel with pool, Jacuzzi, get me off girls and Jorge’s crack.

Mandy’s Thought for the Day. “I’m on fire and there’s no clouds”

Cassie’s Thought for the Day: “The Basement Jaxx family are relaxed, chilled and ready to make the rave. I phoned my Mum and she not in. I want to speak to her SO BAD. I haven’t finished my homework”

Sharlene’s Thought for the Day “ This is my first few days on tour with Basement Jaxx and I have never been so happy in my life. San Diego is a beautiful place with gorgeous palm trees and fluffy white clouds. You can wear next to nothing and fell like you are in your yard. Makes you feel a bit sexy, too (innit Cassie !?J)

“4th & B” in San Diego is a very cool venue. Gig should be good. Still waiting for the tour bus – we are trapped in soundcheck. Smoking has begun

Later……

Gig was a bit all over the place but the kids were having it oh yesss……

Day 4 – 2nd October – Los Angeles – Mayan Theater – Pacific Time

Woke up in LA. Very friendly street cleaners. Off to radio biznizz and Q photographer to get the lowdown on the hoe down on tour.

Dede’s Thought for The Day: “I had to get up early to go to the Canadian Consulate to get a visa. I was sleeping sooo goood…….

Dip in the sea, radio interview with The Swedish Eagle, hear “Romeo” on K-ROQ (Record of The Day) in LA traffic jams.
LA gig – wicked wicked wicked. Traktor (Swedish directors who made WYHA video) were there having a ball.

Day 5 – October 3rd – San Francisco – The Fillmore – Pacific Time

Woke up in San Francisco. Saw plenty of freaks and bag crack people downtown. Radio malarkey, phoners etc. Gig was cool. Audience seemed to really enjoy themselves especially during “Flylife” when they went mental. Day off tomorrow in Seattle which Sharlene is looking forward to (for a much needed “hair-doing”)

Sharlene’s Thought for the Day: “Be nice to strangers because one day you my be a stranger too”

Andy’s (Tour Controller) Thought for the Day: “Been running around like a cat with a banger nailed to it’s tail but it’s worth it. Can’t wait to leave California as everyone in the band are so far behind the picture. Shows getting better and better. Everyone coming into their own, “blossoming”. Fuckingfanbloodytastic.

Gig at the famous Fillmore (Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplne, Haight Ashbury, The Sixties etc. etc.) Got added to their wall of fame with beautiful limited edition poster. (ENCLOSED).

Day 6 – October 3rd – SFO to Seattle – 820 miles / 14 hours – Pacific Time

Woke up traveling through the mountains somewhere near Springfield. 2 hour pit stop. Tooker (our bus driver) had to chyange the brake airline giving us time to scoot around, play bat & ball, hang with cowboys in the trackstop café. Lovely views, pure Injun country.

Cassie’s First Thing in The Morning Thought: “ The world is a beautiful place. Woke up on my day off smelling the fresh country air. Had a hot drink and a heathy sandwich in the lovely country of origin where there are real pine trees, maybe some racoons, wild bears and a big foot. Hold on to your dream. If you have faith it will come true”

Howdee. I seen plenty O stuff. Acid freak outs, girls bare asses an stuff. Yeahh.

I saw you dancing there in those white boots. Mi ex wife she wus called Dede.

U know Dede – in that cowboy hat you looking good. All you need is some little boots and tight Levi jeans and we’d go to the rodeo.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…titties….huh ?….zzzzz…853 miles..mmmmmmmmmmmzzzzz..Goddarn horse…..zzzzz where’s my bus…zzzzzzzzzzzzzhuh ?….zzzzzzzmmmmm damn chicken…mmmmm#zzzzmmmmN zzmm what ? huh ?

Jerk Off Chicken Wings !

Arrived late in Seattle – posse meal – half of us went to some half empty, half happening bar.

Day 7 – October 5th - Seattle – The Showbox – Pacific Time

Seattle – home of Fish, Frasier an Freaky Nut Bags

Wake up in Seattle to Cassie, all bubbly & fresh on the phone. “What time is it ?” 9.00am. Hangover, I think. Phoners, more press, a trip to Pike Market (homely and friendly). A few loons. Mad people in the U.S are definitely less quaint and mo’ god darn freaky deak and cahooty nut bags.
Had our caricatures done at the gig – Icarus (our screen guy) was living on the paper and Simon the opposite. Leggy (lighting director) got a whole page. The artist was named Steve Hartley – he was a big, sweaty man who’d been working his goddamn ass off (That’s a jerky little smoke….)

Day 8 – October 6th – Commodore Ballroom – Vancouver, Canada – Pacific Time

Arrive 10am in Vancouver. All a bit wiped out. Last night’s pizza for breakfast. Chill till soundcheck.
Gig fills up at the last minute before we play. Executive dressing room. Bob & Trevor (Canadian record label) hang out We all go to a club after the gig (Sonar). Funky room upstairs – alright – a bit of Eve.
After to DVH Café with Trevor being chatty, music grungy, heavy, mellow – we all fall asleep waiting for our Quesadillas. Tried to get a drink. Barman said even Marilyn Manson, when he was there, couldn’t get a drink after 2am. B Jaxx, therefore, didn’t stand a chance.

had a scuffle with the club bouncer, who armlocked her and said she wasn’t coming in. Something to do with being a minor…..
Woman raped on eighth floor. Police come. Maybe the football guys / bachelor party…

Day 9 – October 7th – Vancouver to Minneapolis – Northwest flight 1764

Lobby at 9.00am. Then off to wait at the airport.

Eric’s (sound man) Thought for the Day: “My mind is blank, Why haven’t they got a Burger King ? Why do we have to check in so early ?”

Howard’s (backline tech) Thought for the Day: “I want a hooker”

Mashed……….

Arrived early evening in Minneapolis. Food, drink at a Frasier style, warm & brown, slightly exec restaurant with Jaxx style nouveau art face in the window. Same old Jorge - chatting up the waitresses.
Later, at the hotel bar, Jorge and crew chat up some Iowa out-of-towner hairdressers / nailpolishers who come along to “Quest” – the cool Sunday night club. Charlie Feelgood is playing – he seems cool and plays some more musical and alive music than DJ Ronnie before, including a house version of “Abracadabra”. Everyone spends the first half hour sharking and looking for weed. Eventually we’re smoking pipes with some guy (piercings, hat – pulled low, backpack). Martin nearly gets thrown out by bouncers. We talk them round by telling they’re “dope”.

Day 10 – October 8th – Minneapolis – First Avenue – Central Time

Wake up late. Ring folks. Radio, press – some college radio stuff. Buy socks. Think about MTV Awards Show for November – How can we perform and not come across like all the stupid pop acts ? Who knows ?

The gig was HOTTTT ! Best gig ? It was onnnnnn! Thanks Minneapolis. Sharlene met a lovely man. Mandy buzzes around like a herby buzzy bubblin fly. It’s alright now, it’s all good – it’s all easy etc. etc. etc. Minneapolis – I think they understand it. Oh yes – did a Flylife / Breakaway kinda version – maybe next time chorus vocals from girls and Simon guitar biznizz. Hotel, shower. 2.57am. Back on the bus.

Our lives once again in the hands of Tooker, our cattle ranch driver with the Pantera t-shirt and jacket. One bus has broken down somewhere in the mountains with Ugly Duckling (Andy, Dizzy & Einstein – the support band) still on it. So no support band tonite. Minneapolis was cold, all shopping malls. Prince did Purple Rain where we played tonight – all the people looked heavy metal. Starting to drift into nowhere, outer cosmos of touring. Places, days become a muddle – it’s only Day 10….Not really been aware of Bin Laden until today. Paper says we bin bombin’; things here seem subdued, TV programs pretty ridiculous – pumped up in-depth probing (like Brass Eye).
Good vibes in the group – get mashed, get up, do an interview, soundcheck, eat, show, get mashed…..

Day 11 – October 9th – Chicago – The Metro

Tooker ! Driverman ! What was going on ? This morning the brakes were squealing, hitting trees, curbs, scratching up the side of the bus. (He was lost). Our bus is full of mayhem. We stop outside the venue and hope we love it like the last one.

Chicago is a cool place – the buildings all Earthy red. There’s a warm vibe here and they like their arts ‘n culture and their underground soulful vibes.

Off to do radio interviews. Our Virgin escort tells us how wonderful Tony Blair is. “Because he’s cautious and fair-minded unlike your Naked Gun Presidential figure ?” No. “Because he’s strongly hand-in-hand with America” Be careful Tony – it’s important to question the depth of America’s motives – there is definitely a whole generation (or 6) motivated by horror, sentimentalism and piles of rank food.
Having said that we’ve met some gems of people, the dearest to us all probably Tooker.
Sitting on the bus. Simon, Sharlene and Dede asleep in their bunks – it was a late night last night and all the crew slept on our bus (theirs is still trapped somewhere in the mountains) and we were two beds short.
Sharlene was bubblin after meeting a hadsome stranger last night which was cool. She was v.disappointed at not meeting her American 17 month internet love partner. He’s a marine with war on his mind (or probably just a lazy dawg).
A few of the posse are having difficulty with relationships back home. Partners have to be sooo cool and understanding to deal with all this malarkey.
Track of the moment : Afroman – “Cos I Got High”. Check it – it’s sing-along an feelgood (+ a positive message methinks) blah blah blah….
Cassie Mandy & Jorge return to bus (after shopping spree in Chicago) at 6.52pm. Soundcheck is in one minute. Then food and gig at 11pm. Feeling a bit knackered.
Ugly Duckling have arrived after two days lost and broken down in the mountains between Seattle & Chicago. They say “We had to drive from Montana for 18 stright hours but we made it here in enuff time to rock the house and get the crowd ready for another bangin’ Basement Jaxx show. Next time let’s do Vegas !”

Tickets for our New York show are going slow (a bit worrying – we are palying a bigg venue). Having spoken to journalists there things are still very somber – restaurants doing OK but clubs & gigs are dead. 10 days for everyone to venture out after dark – hope they do. It’s our last gig and it’s been going so cool….

Day 12 – October 10th – Detroit – St. Andrews Hall – Central Time

Woke up on the bus, sent postcards. Picked up by the record company and taken across the border to Canada to “Rock-FM” (or something…..) where some really slowed down, yeah man Rock DJ quizzed us about Tony Blair & Radiohead – a lot of these rock kids (old men) don’t like their forays into the electronic world.
Sound check at gig venue (St. Andrews Hall) & posse meal in nearby “Greektown”.
Gig – a bit different – not as mental as normal (the crowd that is). Loads of people just staring at us looking a bit shocked. Apparently this is quite an indie venue – hence the sporty starey boys. Definitely the most duff gig. We DJ’ed here 3 months ago and it was full of loads of real fans, very young, going mad for it. Maybe this time played the wrong venue……..
Shower & saw CNN. Anthrax attack – what’s going on ? Get trolleyed…..

Day 13 – October 11th – Atlanta – A Day Off

Wake up very late (2.30pm) still traveling on the bus. Reach Atlanta – feeling a bit knackered – but we’ve got the night off. Never been to Atlanta – Dance Theater of Harlem are staying in same hotel – must try and catch their show before ours tomorrow – contemporary classical stylee.
Off for food to “Gladys Knight’s Chicken & Waffles” – Nice vibe, good music, OK food. Then off to local club where some dodgy breakbeat jungle psychedelic group makes a load of crap noise. The other room opens with “Dez from Chicago” spinning music. OK but wanted some more slo’ n funky style…
All getting pretty bladdered so head for “Cheetahs” (World Famous Strip Joint – apparently….). We got free tickets.
Get in, see loads of bored looking ladies pretending they fancy you – but it’s a good laugh. The compere gives us a Basement Jaxx shout out and then plays “Jump n Shout”. Cassie takes to the catwalk and starts booty shakin wickedly until she gets thrown off. Dizzy (from Ugly Duckling) buys a round of Jagermeisters and that’s it. No one can stand up. Back to the hotel for spliffs. Pass out.
Cassie is sick.t day. Hungover. Cassie is really ill. But the gig is really cool – back on track…….